So, how about being honest? I've been saying I am doing fine, that it was mutual and it's no problems and whatever. Yes, it was was mutual, but what people don't seem to understand is that mutual or not, it still hurts like hell.
I can't even begin to explain it.
This is pain, raw and undiluted pain and I can't to anything to make it go away. I am dealing, but yeah, I'm in pain.
I ignore people, I know I am, because I can't talk about it, I can't explain how I feel to every one. I get your messages, and I love that you send them, but I aren't ready to talk yet.
I feel weak. I really know that I aren't but that's how it feels. I hate showing emotions in public and so far I crashed and cried at work two days in a row. I kinda feel pathetic.
Just, treat me like normal? Please? I am still me, I can still smile and laugh, but I also cry, I also feel like something inside me is breaking. I will deal, but this is what I will be like for weeks, months.
I have some people I want to thank... All the girls over at LJ, I love you girls so much and I have no idea how I would get through this all without you. Dominic, for just being there, patient and understanding and never pushing me, I love you. And to Michael, I really have no idea what I would do without you, the rock you have been for me this last week.
I am good. And I am bad. I am happy. I am crying.
I'm in mourning.
Over and out
There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up.
ReplyDeleteOne tree hill är en av mina favvoserier:) En karaktär som heter Lucas börjar eller slutar varje avsnitt med ett quote, låter kanske sjukt men det han säger har hjälpt mig med mycket. Och jag älskar den här bäst.